it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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