I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
