I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize