haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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