where am i from again
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
