I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
