Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So apparently I’m into choking now
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