Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
time to smoke my breakfast
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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