Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
