I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
