It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
