he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
