dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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