their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Drake has all the answers
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
