Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
