If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
someone owes me an orgasm
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize