Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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