Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Alive.
So much puke
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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