ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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