At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
