Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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