i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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