We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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