that's an acceptable place to lick
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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