Nicole vs. Life
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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