Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize