Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
