I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
