Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
