She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize