DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
