so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize