but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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