She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
