Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
