alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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