Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We left the knife in your bed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
is that a dick in a sweater?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
