So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
