i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just cut my nipple shaving
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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