Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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