Buhtt sex?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
