He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
