tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he thought i was a dude.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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