i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize