What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
