TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
