well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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