This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
