I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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