bring money and cleavage
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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