Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
