Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
