She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
be right there i have to get my cape
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
