its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I got inside last night via doggy door
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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