Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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