Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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