You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize