I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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