ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
