i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
