Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
