Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
