i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
