Banned from zoo.
Again?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
