I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
