HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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