He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
