You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize