I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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