Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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