I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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