I wannas sexs uuuuu
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
