I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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