btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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