And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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