...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
