$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
did i just pee glitter
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
