two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
