so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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